Bands from high school

 I used to listen to this band when I was in High School, especially during my senior year. At the time I was doing pretty bad, I was depressed again and in a very unhealthy relationship. Although this was my favorite band at the time I eventually had to stop listening to it because I found it so negative, it only reminded me of all the nights I spent crying on the phone with my ex-boyfriend and how awful I felt at that time in my life. The farther I got away from my senior year the less I could listen to this band. I would try to listen to one album then another and every time I would end up turning it off thinking, "How could I ever have idolized this band so much?"   I know up to this point I may have sounded like some poor sad hippy, which I kind of am, but I am also a bit of a bad ass, some may even say bitch and that part of me was pretty much running the show for a while. So part of my finding "peace" was not just balancing out my depression, but my anger as well.  So back to the music, I recently decided to try and listen to this band again, thinking that if I found them just as depressing and whiny I would turn it off, however, to my surprise I found it completely uplifting.  I couldn't understand why I had ever found this band depressing. I felt like I had never actually listened to this band before, like my hearing had been all wrong.  I realize now that it was not the band, but me that was the problem. I saw the world as depressing, overwhelming and out of my control, so that is how I heard my favorite band. Now I see the world as exciting and beautiful, I think we are all working together for each other, even when we are angry or hate each other, we are all teachers and we are all student's.  So when I listen to this band now all I hear are the good lines and the uplifting tempo, I realize now the only problem was my view of life. If I think life is beautiful and precious then my experiences will reflect that, If I see the world as sad and angry then sadness and anger are constantly going to be reflected back at me. No matter what is happening around me I will experience it through my own lens, whether that is good or bad is up to me.