Friday, April 6, 2012

house hunting

To make improv work there is this rule that whoever is up on stage has to say yes to everything that is presented to them. If you don't the scene will come to a very awkward stop, however if the actors do accept everything that happens, most often, the scene is allowed to unfold into a hilarious end.  On stage I can improve very well, but in daily life I am the person that stops the scene and looks like an ass-hole. I am controlling, maybe not of those around me, but definitely of myself and my plans, which means that I might get a bit out of sorts if my husband drives a different way than I thought he should.  I am trying to learn to yes to whatever happens and allowing myself to be carried by the flow around me.  This is a whole new way of living for me because I like to plan, research and calculate constantly. It's not that I want to disown planning or calculating, but rather adjust my plans when things don't turn out the way I thought they would or should. Life is not only more fun, but everything seems to come together the way it is supposed to even though it's not how I imagined it would.  Looking for a house, for instance, can be trying, as I'm sure anyone who has bought a house can attest to, and it has brought out my crazy planning self more than most things. I try to go in knowing that it doesn't matter how much I like a house it might have major problems, or as so often seems to happen, someone has already made an offer while I am still waiting for my landlord and AT&T to send me the papers I asked for so we can get pre-approved. Even though I try to prepare myself I am disappointed each time, however, I am ok with being disappointed because that is part of saying yes to how the scene is playing out.  I am realizing that for each house that disappears there is another little gem about to be put on the market and perhaps there are forces bigger than me doing something better than the small plans I have devised in my head. Maybe I do not know everything and even though that house looked perfect for me, I can actually trust that God also has plans for me, and just maybe His plans are better than mine.